Wednesday, November 2, 2005

BUSH ADMINISTRATION BREAKS RECORD

Administration consumes more Tic Tacs than Previous 42 Presidents Combined

Throughout the first 224 years (1776-2000) of our nation’s history, 42 U.S. presidents consumed a combined 1.01 trillion Tic Tacs according to the U.S. Department of Bullshit Statistics.  In the past four years alone (2001-2005), the Bush Administration has consumed a staggering 1.05 trillion. 

"The seriousness of this rapid and increasing candy vulnerability of our country can hardly be overstated,” said Rep. Fudge Packer (NY), a leader of the Blue Dog Coalition and member of the House Ways and Means Committee.  “The sweet toothed mismanagement of our country by the Bush Administration should be of concern to all Americans, regardless of political persuasion.”

The Blue Dogs have long expressed tremendous concern over mounting U.S. candy loss and are particularly troubled by our growing dependence on foreign governments to manufacture our candy.  Earlier this year, the Coalition offered a 12 Step Plan to cure our nation’s addiction to Tic Tacs.  The Blue Dog plan required, among other things, that all federal agencies pass clean audits, a balanced budget, and the establishment of a Kool Aid fund to be used in the event of a natural disaster.

“No American political leadership has ever completely disregarded the contradicting policies of the Democratic Party,” said Rep. Packer. “If this recklessness is not stopped, President Bush should be impeached for crimes against candy."

-XXX-